How do carers feel

Most of us do not want to be dependent on someone else. Learning to accept help is hard. So, the care receiver is often pushing away our attempts to be helpful and caring. If someone has dementia, this problem is often much worse. And we get our feelings hurt because the care receiver does not thank us or even see how much we are giving up in order to care for them. Coping: Sometimes we have to give ourselves our own pat on the back. Writing in a journal about the things you do each day might help you to appreciate how much you give and how much you do.

The longer you are a caregiver, the more isolated you become. With no one to talk to day in and day out except the care receiver, it is easy to lose a sense of yourself. Coping: Find ways to get out of the house and involved in something other than caregiving. Learn about resources from your local Area Agency on Aging about respite programs or day care programs that will allow you to get a much-needed and well-deserved break. No one can do this job alone.

Look at your wider circle of support—faith community, neighbors, friends, distant relatives, etc. Caregivers experience many losses, some of which have already been mentioned: loss of control, loss of independence, loss of income, loss of your best friend, loss of the future, loss of a sense of yourself. Loss leads to grief and depression. Coping: Identifying your losses can help you to cope with them. For each of us, the losses will be different.

When you know what you are feeling, you will be able to look at the loss and think about what might work for you to help you deal with it. Perhaps you have siblings who are not helping provide care or maybe you are an only child, became the caregiver by default, and feel you have very little desire or support to offer care. Little things easily become big things when we feel unappreciated and unacknowledged. And feeling like you have to do it all, and do it all by yourself, is a guaranteed way to feel resentment.

Coping: Family situations and dynamics can be a real challenge. Having help from family may make your situation easier, but sometimes family tensions make it even harder to get help. The more help and support you accept, the easier it will be to let go of feeling burdened and resentful of those who are not doing their share.

If family tensions are getting in the way, it could also help you to refer to the FCA fact sheet Holding a Family Meeting. It is easy to forget about the good things that have happened or are happening when we only focus on the negative. As a caregiver, how often do you get the full eight hours of sleep they always say you need? Sleep is often postponed while you grab a few minutes of alone time after the care receiver goes to bed. Sleep is often disturbed because the care receiver gets up at night and needs help going to the bathroom or being re-directed back to bed.

Coping: Sleep has to be put on the priority list. Lack of sleep leads to obesity, illness, crankiness, impatience, inefficiency in accomplishing tasks, and a state of mental fogginess among other issues. If you are having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep not related to direct caregiving, talk to your physician. There are ways to help both of you to get the rest you need. As a caregiver, you do amazing work caring for others in need.

But as a caregiver, you also need to think about yourself. Just pushing through each day will eventually wear you out and cause you to burn out. Emotional issues can weigh you down and impact not only your ability to cope and provide care, but they can also harm your health and well-being. It is important to learn to ask for help and prioritize getting breaks from caregiving, so that you can be the caregiver you want to be. Family Caregiver Alliance FCA seeks to improve the quality of life for caregivers through education, services, research, and advocacy.

Through its National Center on Caregiving, FCA offers information on current social, public policy, and caregiving issues and provides assistance in the development of public and private programs for caregivers. A listing of all facts and tips is available online at www.

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Optimal care pathways. Patient resources. Too much stress, especially over a long time, can harm your health. As a caregiver, you're more likely to experience symptoms of depression or anxiety. In addition, you may not get enough sleep or physical activity, or eat a balanced diet — which increases your risk of medical problems, such as heart disease and diabetes.

The emotional and physical demands involved with caregiving can strain even the most resilient person. That's why it's so important to take advantage of the many resources and tools available to help you provide care for your loved one. Remember, if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to care for anyone else. Set personal health goals.

For example, set goals to establish a good sleep routine, find time to be physically active on most days of the week, eat a healthy diet and drink plenty of water.

Many caregivers have issues with sleeping. Not getting quality sleep over a long period of time can cause health issues. If you have trouble getting a good night's sleep, talk to your doctor. It may be hard to imagine leaving your loved one in someone else's care, but taking a break can be one of the best things you do for yourself — as well as the person you're caring for.

Most communities have some type of respite care available, such as:. Nearly 60 percent of caregivers work outside of the home. If you work outside the home and you're a caregiver, you may begin to feel overwhelmed.

If you do, think about taking leave from your job for a period of time. Employees covered under the federal Family and Medical Leave Act may be able to take up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave a year to care for relatives. Ask your human resources office about options for unpaid leave. If you're like many caregivers, you have a hard time asking for help. Unfortunately, this attitude can lead to feeling isolated, frustrated and even depressed. Rather than struggling on your own, take advantage of local resources for caregivers.

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